Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Emotional Abuse

Here is a video on emotional abuse.  The only thing I would disagree with is going together for counseling because the abuser will a) later use what you say against you, empowering him b) possibly fool the counselor into thinking he's good and is the victim, not you, c) some counselors erroneously believe that the victim is 50% responsible for the abuser's actions which is so far from the truth and will only make things worse.  

Unfortunately, I've seen time and time again how many, but not all, Christian counselors and pastors will try to get you to forgive the abuser at the slightest hint of "repentance".  Many have also tried to get the victim to "walk in their abuser's shoes" and try to be more understanding of them and where they came from... when that is often what keeps the victims there in the first place.  Victims do not need to be more tolerant, understanding, or forgiving.  That will only enable the abuser and make the victim more powerless.

Seek a counselor for yourself that believes you and understands abuse so you get support and validation.  If you can get the abuser to see a counselor, find one that deals with abusive individuals. NOVUS Abuser Services in Wisconsin may be able to help you locate someone in your area who works with abusers.  They can be reached at:  715-832-6887  If you've ever felt threatened, make an emergency plan.  Focus Ministries has a wealth of information for victims and family and friends of victims, and are a wonderful resource. The National Domestic Violence Hotline  is also a good resource.  They can be reached at 800-799-SAFE (7233)


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